Dr. DILF Has His Say

CHAPTER 8:

Edward's POV

"Shit, shit, shit," I cursed as I watched Bella drive away.

What the fuck was I thinking? Why didn't I stop her from leaving? I just sat there like an idiot as she frantically looked for her clothes. Where did this all go wrong?

We were having such a great time, enjoying ourselves. She was unbelievable with Lexi, and I found myself chuckling when they were imitating Dori and just had to join in. She eased my worries with Lexi and these boys because I really was not happy to hear that my baby girl had boyfriends. She's too young to have little boyfriends, even if it is harmless. How did I get so lucky with Bella?

I remember that first day I saw her about seven months ago; it was my first day at the hospital and I got called in early. Sitting outside the daycare center, I was already late, but there was nothing I could do-I couldn't take my daughter to work with me. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw a woman approaching, she introduced herself as Bella. Even in the morning darkness, I could tell she was pretty, but the moment we went inside and she turned on the lights; it was like someone knocked the wind out of me. Bella was beautiful. She had chocolate brown eyes, long, brown, wavy hair with hints of red and fair skin. I noticed her staring at me, too, and I cleared my throat to get her attention. Her cheeks flushed and I thought it only made her look more beautiful.

I was worried about leaving Lexi in this new place that she had only visited once, but Bella really eased my thoughts. I told her to call or page me if she needed anything. I didn't want to leave; I wanted to stay and watch Lexi play and talk to Bella more, but I forced myself to go.

All day I was a nervous wreck. I was waiting for my phone to ring, but it never did, and I didn't know how I made it through the day. My thoughts were split between worry for Lexi and Bella's deep, chocolate brown eyes. I just couldn't get her gorgeous face out of my mind and, because I was busy daydreaming, a number of things went wrong. I didn't see a kid gagging, and then throwing up before it was too late. I fell behind in my work and got out late. I was going to call, but my cell phone died. My day just kept getting worse and worse, and I knew I was going to be in trouble for picking Lexi up so late.

I ran in feeling all disheveled, apologizing profusely. I was surprised to see Bella and Lexi eating spaghetti. She had given my daughter dinner, and now she was offering some to me. She wasn't upset and I couldn't believe how generous she was, this woman that had just met me and my daughter today. I was going to object, but then my stomach growled. I asked Lexi about her day and the first thing out of her mouth was she loved Bella, which shocked me, to say the least. I had never seen her take a liking to someone so quickly. Bella asked about me and I told her; I found myself wanting her to know everything, so I even told her about my wife when she asked.

When it was time to go, Lexi asked if Bella could come. If it wasn't our first meeting and if I didn't have a daughter, I would have brought her home with me, but things were different. Since I didn't feel comfortable letting her leave by herself, we walked her to her car. I was elated to see Lexi give her a hug and a kiss goodbye. Not only did I like Bella, but Lexi did too, and that was so important to me.

Unconsciously, I started to talk about Bella with my family, mentioning her name when they would ask about Lexi's time at daycare. I also found myself playing the piano with a new feeling whenever my mother asked. After two years of mourning my wife, I finally felt like me again. I never thought another woman could make me feel alive the way Tanya did. Some people might think two years isn't enough time to mourn-hell, even my brain said that, and part of my heart did too. The other part of my heart and all of my body said that she was the one. I'd had plenty of chances to move on, and each one I let pass me by. I wasn't ready before, but with Bella, she magically captured all of my thoughts.

I waged a war in my head for six months: to ask her out or not. I knew she didn't have a boyfriend. The few times I was left alone with Leah, I would ask about her. She smiled every time I brought up Bella's name, knowing what I was after, but she was still cautious with the information, only telling me the basics.

I had finally talked myself into asking Bella out but my brother surprised me with a blind date. He said I had a new spirit about me and HE thought I was ready to move on with my life, to get back out there. I was not looking forward to the date, and then Bella ended up babysitting for me. I felt wrong having her there while I was out on a date with another woman, especially when I so wanted that woman to be her. Needless to say, the date was awful. I don't know where my brother found this woman named Jessica, or why he thought we'd hit it off. She would not shut-up, and I ended up hearing what seemed like her entire family history, something I wasn't interested in at all. I used Bella as a scapegoat to leave the date early, and thank God I did.

When I got home, I found Bella and Lexi asleep, so beautiful and peaceful together. When she woke up, I told her about my wife's death. I had never told anyone outside my family that story, but I wanted Bella to know. I was surprised when she jumped off the bed to comfort me. I cried, my tears falling on her and she didn't seem to care. Pulling back, I looked from her eyes to her lips; I felt this need to kiss her and I could tell she wanted to kiss me, too. So I leaned in and our lips touched. I had wanted to do that for so long. I'd dreamt about it and I found that the dream could never compare to the real thing. I felt sparks between us, and my lips felt like they were on fire in a good way. It had taken months before I felt those fireworks with Tanya. Yes, we'd had chemistry, but it took us some time before I was knocked off my feet every time we kissed. With Bella, it was instant. Before she left, I asked her out, but didn't specify anything.

I was a nervous wreck the next time I saw her. I'm sure she doubted my intentions after not calling her that weekend. Stupid work got in the way and then I almost lost my nerve when I saw that Jake guy. I knew he wasn't her boyfriend, but possibly an ex? I didn't want to step on anyone's toes. I'm glad she told me she liked me because that helped me blurt it out. She was killing me, making me wait for an answer, but it was only fair after all the second-guessing that I'm sure I made her go through. I kissed her again. This kiss was so much better than the first one. Unfortunately, it ended too soon, just like the first one, this time thanks to Rosalie being impatient. We reentered the real world, introducing her to my sister-in-law, who proceeded to embarrass me. I then met Jake and found out he was her best friend and was married to Leah. I didn't have anything to worry about.

Our first date was so much better than my blind date had been. I felt like such a girl, the butterflies fluttering in my stomach just before knocking on her door. I was hoping Bella would be the one to answer, but it was her friend, Alice, who greeted me. I'd never met her before, but I'd heard a lot about her. I could've sworn Bella said Alice could talk your ear off, but she just stood there, staring at me with her mouth open. It seemed to pull her out of her thoughts when I introduced myself. That was the only invitation she needed...she introduced herself and would not stop talking. We waited on the sofa, Alice warning me to be good to Bella, that she'd been hurt too many times and was beginning to lose her faith in love. She then proceeded to talk about her relationship with her boyfriend, Jasper. I assumed she was telling me their story because Bella looked up to their relationship and wanted something like that, for herself. Our conversation halted the moment I saw Bella walk down the hall. I think that I took her breath away but she took mine first. The plum-colored dress she wore made her fair skin look even more amazing, and the way it clung to her body in all the right places, accentuating her boobs...DAMN! I was ready to skip dinner and take her back into her bedroom; show her what she does to me with just one look.

She never ceased to amaze me either. The way she took control once we got in the car...I really had to distract myself with gross things like road kill, a broken arm, vomit. I've never enjoyed kissing someone so much in my life. This girl just made me throw caution out the window. I forgot that my wife died, that I was a dad, that my mother raised me to be a gentleman. She made it really difficult to leave, but I heard her stomach growl in her apartment. I was going to do the right thing and take her to get food.

Our conversation at the restaurant was silly banter, both of us getting a little possessive. I can't believe she told me that she liked that about me, especially now knowing that James took possessiveness to a whole new level.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard my baby girl screaming. I ran up the stairs, taking them two by two. She was sitting up, holding her favorite blanket, tears streaming down her face. I quickly picked her up and sat down in the rocking chair, trying to calm her by rubbing circles on her back.

I've been doing the solo dad thing for almost three years now. I wasn't sure how I would be as a dad. The first year was tough: early morning diaper changes and feeds on top of my intern hours. I was thankful I didn't have to do that first year on my own, but in reality, that first year was nothing compared to Lexi's terrible twos. I don't know how I pulled through that one on my own. Oh, did my baby girl have a temper on her; she definitely got that from her mom. I was amazed at how well she turned out so far, but I couldn't take all the credit. Tanya's parents were my lifesavers after her death and helped me to move forward...for my daughter.

"Did you have a nightmare?" I asked softly, once her tears faded and her hiccups seized.

She nodded her head.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I asked, running my hand through her hair.

"I a fish and a whale gonna eat me, like Dori. Mean whale," she told me, wiping her tears away.

"Awww, I'm sorry, baby. Don't worry; I won't let a whale eat you." I placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Bella?"

"She went home, baby."

"She come back?"

"I hope so. You want to sleep with daddy tonight?"

"Please."

"Okay, let's go to sleep."

I stood up, carrying her to my room down the hall. I tucked her in, placing a kiss on her temple, and then went into my bathroom to get ready for bed. My thoughts went back to Bella the minute I turned the light on and closed the door behind me.

How could I do this to her? She must have felt so hurt. I knew Bella, that over-thinking brain of hers was blaming herself. I needed to talk to her, to explain, but I doubt she wanted to hear from me right now. Maybe I could text her. She had to know that this was all on me, that she did nothing wrong. Dammit!

Finishing my nightly routine, walking out of the bathroom and flipping the light off, I found my phone sitting on the nightstand. I picked it up and scrolled down to her name, typing out a new message:

I'm sorry. Don't be upset. It's my fault. Call me, please.

I hit send and set my phone back down. I sat on the edge of the bed running my hands over my face, blowing out a gush of air. I lay back against the pillows and stared at my ceiling. The wheels were turning way too much for sleep to hit me anytime soon.

I think I finally fell asleep around five o'clock, but it didn't last long. About two hours later, I was woken up by little feet kicking me and the sounds of teeth grinding.

And that's why I don't let her sleep in my bed. She's a kicker and a teeth grinder. I don't know how Bella slept peacefully with her the last time she was here.

I got up and made my way down the stairs, letting Lexi sleep a little longer. I was sure she'd be up within the next fifteen minutes, wanting to watch her shows. I turned on the TV, switching it to The Disney Channel before walking into the kitchen. I started a pot of coffee, pulled out a carton of eggs and a bag of cheese. I was in the mood for omelets this morning.

I heard Lexi jumping down the stairs just as I was putting food on a plate for her.

"Hi, daddy. You make eggs?" she asked, giving me a hug.

"Hi, baby," I said, placing a kiss on top of her head. "Yes, I made eggs with cheese. Have a seat and I'll bring you some juice and fruit."

I brought some orange juice and a bowl of fruit to the table then made a plate for myself. We ate and watched Handy Mandy.

Whoever thought of making tools talk must have been smoking something. Come to think of it, I think I heard Wilmer Valderama thought of this show and he was on 'That 70's Show.' You know they weren't just smoking when the cameras were rolling. That was why you didn't fry your brain cells kids.

"Lexi, how about we go visit your favorite uncle?" I asked, standing up with my now empty plate.

"We go see Emmie?" she asked, a huge grin on her face.

"Yes, and Aunt Rose and Ethan and Aiden."

"Yay!" she exclaimed.

"Alright, run upstairs and start your bath. I'll be right behind you."

She scooted her chair back and rain up the stairs, stumbling once, but getting right back up. I put the dishes in the sink and followed behind her. She already had her pajamas off and the water running by the time I walked in. I turned the knob just a little, the water was too warm for her; I let it run a little more before letting her get in. She wasn't in a playing mood; she wanted to get washed and dressed and in the car to Emmett's house. I quickly washed her hair, and cleaned her body with a washcloth and her favorite fruity bodywash. She dipped underwater to get all the soap off and blew a couple bubbles while she was under. She popped up, spitting some water at me and laughing.

"Yuck, Lexi, that water is all soapy. Does your mouth taste all soapy now?" I asked, laughing with her. I now had a nice wet spot on my shirt over my abdomen.

I watched as she scrapped her teeth over her the top of her tongue, trying to get the soapy taste out of her mouth. I laughed even harder.

"Get it out, daddy, get it out! Yuck, gross!" she whined.

I stood up from my seat on the toilet and went to the sink where there was a cup. I filled it with some water and handed it to her.

"Now, put that in your mouth, let it sit, then spit it out," I told her.

The first sip she swallowed, but the second one she left in her mouth then spit it out. She did that a couple more times.

"Better?" I asked, grabbing her hooded towel from the hook.

"A little," she said stepping out of the tub.

I wrapped the cat towel around her, pulling the hood over her head.

"Look, daddy, I'm a cat. Meow!" she pretended, licking her hands like they were paws.

"Oh, my very own kitty cat. Come on, kitty, lets get you dressed. Are you wearing a dress or play clothes?" I asked, picking her up and carrying her to her room.

"Play clothes," she stated with a nod.

I picked out a pair of denim bermudas and a bright, multiple color tank top with lady bugs. She put her clothes on while I searched for her tennis shoes. She was completely dressed by the time I remembered her shoes were downstairs by the door.

"Alright, I have to shower. How about you watch your shows in my room while I get done?" I suggested.

She ran ahead into my room, grabbing the remote and pulling herself onto the bed. She handed it to me when I walked in. I quickly turned on another one of her channels, finding that Max and Ruby was on. She settled herself against the pillows and I went into the bathroom to get done. While in the shower, I thought about Bella again.

What if she didn't call me? Should I call her? Text her again? Maybe I should just go to her apartment. No, I needed to give her a little space. Hopefully Emmett and Rose could help shine some light on my situation here. I knew that they didn't know much about her, except what I'd mentioned, but maybe.

I finished up in the shower and stepped out, wrapping a towel around my waist. I looked in the mirror, wiping the steam away with my hand.

Ugh, I looked like shit. I guess that was what I got for getting two hours of sleep. It feelt like I hadn't slept at all. Should I shave? Nah.

I brushed my teeth and then walked into my bedroom. I got dressed quickly, slipping boxer-briefs on under the towel and adding a pair of plaid shorts. I finished by pulling on a white polo and spraying on cologne.

"Alright, baby girl, let's brush you hair before we go see Uncle Emmett," I said, grabbing the brush off the dresser and walking over to the bed. She moved to the edge so I could sit behind her. I quickly brushed the tangles out and parted it.

"Who is ready to go see Uncle Emmie?" I asked, clapping my hands once.

"Me, me, me!" she exclaimed, standing on the bed and jumping around.

"Okay, jump to me and let's go."

She jumped into my arms and we headed downstairs. I sat her on the banister as I put her shoes on. I grabbed my wallet and keys and slipped into my flip-flops before we headed out to the car.

~~~Emmett's House~~~

I knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer. Lexi was holding my hand, jumping up and down in place, chanting 'Emmie, Emmie, Emmie' next to me, and I chuckled. After a few minutes, Rose opened the door.

"Edward, Lexi, what are you doing here?" she asked, opening the door wider to let us in.

"Hey, Rose," I said, placing a kiss on her cheek. "I came to talk to you and Em about something."

"Did you make Bella run away?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"What makes you think that?"

"Because I know that you had her over for dinner last night and I just figured that you two would...." she started to say before looking down at Lexi and remembering we weren't alone. "Lexi, why don't you run upstairs? Your cousins and Uncle Emmett are in the toy room."

"Okay, thank you. ‘Bye, daddy." Alexis waved.

Rose and I watched her run upstairs before heading into the kitchen. She poured us both a cup of coffee as I took a seat at the table, but before we could continue the conversation, Emmett joined us.

"Hey, little E, what brings you here this Saturday morning? Did the date not go so well?" Emmett asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee, ruffling my hair as he walked by.

"The kids?" Rose asked, grabbing her husband's forearm.

"Are playing nicely. I told the boys to watch Lex for us and to yell if they need anything," he replied.

"Thanks. So, what happened Edward?"

"Well, dinner was great. Bella colored with Lexi while I cooked. We had kid-friendly conversation whenever Lexi was around, but there was plenty of flirting and sexual innuendos when she wasn't. I invited her to Lexi's birthday party and to Easter, but she couldn't come for Easter because she was going home to see her dad. After dinner we watched a movie until Lexi fell asleep. I took her upstairs and came back down to find Bella doing the dishes. We made out, dance, and then headed back to the couch to watch a different movie. She started to get restless and we started to make out again. I couldn't get enough of her, but things got out of hand, and I took it too far. I told her to stop and removed her hands. I even said it in my stern dad voice. I'm such an idiot."

"What did she do next?" Rose asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

"She jumped off my lap, found her clothes, and then hightailed it out of my house. I haven't talked to her since. I did send her a text apologizing, telling her it was my fault and to please call me."

"Wow, little E, you rejected her big-time," Emmett commented.

"Don't you think I know that?" I asked, pounding my fist on the table. "That's why I'm beating myself up right now. How do I fix this?"

"Well, why did you stop? Do you want to take your relationship further?" Rose asked.

"Of course I do. I just...it was all Bella in my head and, the moment she tried to take things further, I saw Tanya's face and I couldn't do it. I couldn't do that to Bella, either- move forward while my brain was thinking about my dead wife. It's not right. I was going to explain that to her, but she panicked, then I panicked. I sat on the couch for who knows how long before my brain started thinking properly. I tried calling after her, but she ran like there was fire behind her."

"Are you sure you're ready for this, Edward? I'm sure Bella would understand if you're not. I know Tanya will always be there in your mind and heart, but does she randomly pop up like that when you're with Bella?"

"More so lately, and it's when we're making out. Rose, my heart and body say yes but my head is cock-blocking me," I said before thinking. I felt my cheeks turn pink as Emmett busted up laughing.

"I can't believe you just said you're head is cock-blocking you. That is awesome," he laughed, smacking the table.

"It's true. Now I know what Bella means." Rose gave me a puzzled look so I continued, "She said her brain was confused about us. Apparently mine is, too."

"What does your heart say?" Rose asked.

"That she could be the one. I am more taken with her at this stage in our relationship than I was with Tanya at this point. They say everyone has one great love and I thought Tanya was mine, but maybe I was wrong."

"Are you in love with her?" Emmett asked, surprised.

"No, but I could see myself falling in love with her. I have dreams about the three of us playing at the park, my girls sitting on the swing as I pushed them, and Bella just a couple of months pregnant. I didn't start picturing things like that with Tanya until eight months into the relationship, around the time I told her I loved her. Do I sound crazy?" I asked, running a hand through my hair.

"No, that's not crazy. I fell in love with Rosie months into the relationship, I just waited seven months to tell her because I was so nervous," Emmett told me.

"How do I fix this?" I asked, taking a sip of coffee.

"You need to talk to her, Edward. Be honest with her. Tell her what happened last night. Tell her the fears you have of being more intimate. I know she will understand," Rose said earnestly.

"I agree with Rosie, little E. I haven't met Bella, but I have to thank her, because she gave me my little brother back. I haven't ever seen you this happy, even when you were with Tanya. Bella puts a little bounce in your step."

"Thanks, Emmett."

"In other words, don't eff this up," he said, poking my chest.

"Do you think I should call her, wait for her to call me, or just show up at her apartment?"

"Don't show up at her apartment...that's a little stalker-ish," Rose stated as Emmett snorted. "I know you're anxious to see her and to talk to her, but wait for her to make the first move. The ball's in her court now."

Just then, the distinctive, harmonic voice of Chris Martin sang from my phone.

Look at the stars,

Look how they shine for you,

And everything you do,

My breath caught in my throat and my heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to pop out of my chest. I didn't have to look at the screen to know who the caller was. No one had this ringtone except for one person; the person I'd been waiting to hear from. I stood up and walked outside before answering the phone.

"Bella," I sighed, pacing in the backyard. "I'm so sorry. You did nothing wrong, it was all me."

I felt relieved and nervous all at the same time when she asked me to come over to her place to talk.

Will she understand where I'm coming from? Of course she will. Bella is so understanding and she has the biggest heart. What if this is it? What if she can't handle my life anymore? God, when did I become such a teenager with my thoughts? Be a man, Edward!

"I'm already on my way," I said, ending the call quickly and walking back inside.

I found Rose and Emmett still in the kitchen, talking quietly to each other. I cleared my throat to get their attention, feeling like I was imposing on their intimate conversation.

"Was that Bella?" Rosalie asked.

"Yes, it was. Do you mind watching Lexi while I go see her?"

"How about we watch Lex for the night?" Emmett suggested. "That way if your talk with Bella goes well and your mind is in the right place, you two can finally get some bedroom action," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

I shook my head at my brother as Rose slapped him in the arm. Only he would think about getting some action after having a serious talk with your girlfriend.

"What?" he asked, throwing his hands up. "They say the only reason to fight is to make up. Shoot, sometimes it's the only reason why I piss Rosie off," he smirked, earning himself another smack in the arm.

"Fine. If I come pick Lexi up tomorrow, then you'll know how it went. Thanks guys."

"Good luck, little E." Emmett waved.

"'Bye, Edward. I'll tell Lex you had to go," Rose offered.

"Thanks. You two are lifesavers."

I grabbed my keys off the table and jogged out to my car. I hauled ass to Bella's apartment. I'm surprised I didn't get pulled over driving as fast as I did.

Her car was parked outside her building. I parked next to it, turning the ignition off. I sat there for a couple of minutes, trying to catch my breath and gather my thoughts. I blew out a gush of air before opening my door and heading up the stairs.

I ran my hand through my hair a couple of times, trying to calm my nerves, but it wasn't working. I let out another deep breath and brought my fist up to the door, knocking a couple of times, just waiting for Bella.

God, I hope she understands.