"Oh my gosh, Edward! You scared the shit out of me!" I exclaimed as I turned around and smacked him in the chest, I placed my other hand over my heart.
Edward chuckled.
He's laughing at me. That ass.
"It's not funny," I said hitting him again.
"I'm sorry," he apologized stifling his laugh. "You just stood there. What if I was some stranger? Why didn't you run?" he asked while engulfing me in a hug.
"Because I wasn't finish locking up, you doof," I stated like it was the obvious reason. I kept my hands at my side, I refused to give in to his antics.
"Oh, come on, Bella," he pouted, slinking my arms around his neck. I let them fall back down to my sides; he moved them back around his neck and held them there. I rolled my eyes and clasped my hands. With a smile, he slid his arms around my waist once again.
"I thought you had to work late," I mentioned, changing the subject.
"Yeah, about that," he said, scratching the back of his head and averting his eyes. "I lied. I told you I wanted to finish our conversation from earlier, and I figured it would be easier if Lexi wasn't here."
I sighed. "Edward."
"Are you hungry? Can we discuss this over dinner?" he suggested.
"I, uh...I actually made plans to meet Alice at the gym. We're taking a kickboxing class. In fact, if I don't leave soon, I'm going to be late," I said, looking at my watch. "Alice worries about my safety, too, and thinks I can benefit from the class."
I can't believe I'm choosing to workout over dinner with my boyfriend. I just don't want to have this discussion yet. I need to think it over, talk to someone besides Edward about my feelings.
"I'm sorry," I pouted. "I thought you had to work late, so after your mom picked up Alexis, I texted Alice."
"Can't you tell her something came up? That I surprised you with dinner?" Edward suggested.
He pushed that beautiful bottom lip out and I was a goner. Now I know where Alexis gets it from. I threw my head back and let out a gush of air.
"Fine, but I'm not hungry. How about coffee instead?"
"We should really get some food in you," he said with a peck on my lips.
"I'll order a sandwich. There's a Starbucks down the street that serves sandwiches."
"You had a sandwich for lunch and those have been sitting there all day. They'll probably make you sick," he told me going into doctor mode.
"Well, thankfully, I'll have a doctor on hand in case I become ill."
He scowled at my attempt to be funny.
"Humor me, please?" I asked. "I don't want to go to some restaurant where you have to be seated by a hostess. You're in your scrubs, I'm in jeans and my work shirt. I just want to go some place chill," I explained.
"Since you're agreeing to go to dinner with me, it's only fair that you get to choose," he relented.
"Thank you," I said with a kiss.
I slid my hands down his arms and intertwined our fingers.
Since the Starbucks was just down the street, we decided to walk. Neither one of us said anything until we got our order and sat down on a sofa in the corner.
"So, what was up with you at lunch today?" he asked, laying his arm behind my shoulders.
"To be honest, I'm not quite sure. I really haven't had a chance to digest my thoughts from earlier. I figured working out and talking to Alice would help," I replied.
"And I interrupted that. I'm sorry."
"No, don't apologize." I shifted my position so my knee was bent, my body facing his. "Never feel sorry for wanting to spend time with me or call me." I rested my arm on top of his. "Edward, you're so different from anyone else I've ever dated."
"Is that a good or a bad thing?" he asked, his brow furrowed.
I smiled at his question.
"Silly doctor, that's a wonderful thing! Do you think I would still be here if it was bad?"
"No," he smirked.
"Like I told you on our first date, this feels right. And I mean it, it does... but Edward, so much of it doesn't make sense, and my brain likes sense. It doesn't like being confused."
"So you're confused about us?"
"I'm not, my brain is."
We both stayed silent. I was trying to figure out how to take my foot out of my mouth.
"Gah... I sound like a blubbering idiot," I said, dropping my head into his chest.
I felt his hand rubbing my back. Then I felt his chest vibrate.
Again, he was laughing at me. I'm really not that funny. What is his deal today?
"I get where you’re coming from. Just because we put a label on what we are, doesn't mean it makes things easier." Edward hooked his finger under my chin and lifted my head so I was looking at him. "Bella, are you confused about my feelings for you?"
"Yes and no. Obviously you like me. I just worry that this is too soon for you."
"Believe me, it's not too soon. I contemplated asking you out for six months. The answer didn't hit me until I saw you lying in bed with Lexi, asleep. You two looked so peaceful together. It was like I was reliving the first night I saw you with her all over again. I can't explain it, Bella, but you're right for me, you're right for us. I'm ready to be in a relationship with you."
I searched his eyes, looking for any type of hesitancy or doubt, but I didn't see any. There was still one question that I needed to know.
"But what about..."
My question was cut off by Edward's lips. When he kissed me it was like I lost all thought, and nothing else mattered at that moment. All I cared about was Edward's lips moving with mine, one hand cupping the side of my face while the other one slinked around my back to pull me closer. My left hand tangled in his hair, while my right grabbed hold of his forearm. He didn't use his tongue, but I didn't care. His lips had me hypnotized and feeling breathless. He pulled away after a couple of chaste kisses, showing off that sexy, cocky smile of his.
"Do you still have doubts?" He smiled smugly.
What was I going to ask?
I was still trying to catch my breath, so I shook my head.
Fifteen minutes later, Edward and I headed out. He walked me to my car, where he gave me a goodbye kiss and told me to drive safely.
"Are you two ever going to talk about past relationships?" Alice asked. I was talking to her on the phone as I got ready for another date with Edward.
"Yeah, I'm hoping we can talk today. I mean, this will be our sixth date. I would have done it Friday night, but we went to the movies. That is definitely not acceptable movie talk," I laughed.
"No, it's not," she laughed with me.
Sobering up, she asked, "Are you going to tell him about James?"
"Of course-he's part of my past. A past that I wish never happened, but I can't go back in time and change that." I cringed, thinking about my last boyfriend.
"I wonder how he'll react."
"Oh, he won't be happy, I know that. He'll be mad, pissed probably. He'll go into protective mode."
"I would let him go all protective on my ass," she giggled, lightening the mood.
"Alice!" I exclaimed. "That's my boyfriend you're talking about."
"Sorry. It's just that Dr. DILF...mmm."
"I am so telling Jasper about this conversation."
"Go ahead. Jasper knows that at the end of the night, he is the only one for me. Anyway, how are you doing in the kissing department?"
"Still just a minor make-out session at my door. He won't come inside. Do you think it's my place, Ali?"
"What's wrong with your place?"
"I don't know, that’s why I am asking you."
"I don't think it could be about your place. Maybe he's..."
(knock, knock)
"Hold on, Ali, he's here." I walked to the door and opened it with a smile. "Hey, come in. I'll be ready in just a second."
Edward nodded and walked in, following me into my bedroom. This was only the second time he had been in my apartment and the first time he had been in my bedroom.
"Yeah, I'll call you tonight. I promise, Ali." I rolled my eyes dramatically at Edward who chuckled.
"Tell Dr. DILF I say hi," she said loud enough, I could have sworn Edward heard her through the phone, but he didn't react.
"I will. Bye." I ended the call and walked over to Edward, who was looking at the pictures on my bookshelf. "How are you doing today?" I asked, slinking my arms around his stomach and placing a kiss on his back.
"Is that your dad and you?" he asked, pointing to one of the pictures.
"Yup-Jake took that picture. I had just arrived in Forks and Charlie bought that big red clunker from Jake's dad as a welcome home present. I absolutely loved it. It was a tragic day when the beast died."
Edward turned around in my arms and placed a kiss on my forehead.
"Your face lights up when you talk about Charlie, Jake and Forks. It’s really beautiful."
"Thanks. Alice says hi," I mentioned.
"Hi, Alice," he whispered, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
"What do you think of my room?" I asked, rubbing my nose against his.
"It's very you. There are a lot of books, music, pictures of family and friends... simple, but a mystery I want to uncover," he said in a husky voice.
Those six words lit a spark under my feet and I jumped up to capture his lips. I slid my arms around his neck, holding on for dear life as I traced my tongue along his lips. He opened his mouth, and our tongues danced as his arms held me tighter. I tilted my head for better access, but after a little more groping, he pulled away and placed closed mouth kisses on my lips.
"We should go before I lose control," he muttered against my lips.
"Lose control," I sighed against his lips. "Oops, did I just say that out loud?" Embarrassed, I nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck.
"Yes, you did,” he said with a smile. “We have plenty of time to explore your bedroom, just not today."
"Alright." I placed a kiss on his neck before he placed me back on my feet. "Where are we going anyway?" I asked as he grabbed my hand and led us out to his car.
"I figured that since it's such a beautiful day, we would go to Pike’s Place Market."
Edward and I started at First Avenue. We walked around, going in and out of shops, enjoying each others’ company. Around four o'clock, we decided to get something to eat at The Pink Door. I had never been there, but had always wanted to go. After walking inside, I knew this place was perfect for us to discuss our pasts.
The hostess seated us and we quickly ordered our food. Edward also ordered a bottle of wine for us.
We must be on the same page. It was so much easier to talk about exes with a little buzz.
We chatted about the trapeze artists flying above our heads until the waiter brought the wine out. After taking a couple of sips, we got down to business."So, Bella, you say that I’m different from any other guy you've dated. Can you explain that?" he said, leaning towards me and grasping my hand.
"Well, you don't expect anything. You don't tell me your life story just to get in my pants at the end of the night," I stated, getting a laugh out of him. "You're real, you’re honest, and you don't try to impress me...you just do. You don't have any ulterior motives. Basically-you've got your shit together. You actually care what I have to say and how I feel." I bit the side of my lip as I thought about what I wanted to say next. "You and I have bonded more in the past two and half weeks than I ever did with the majority of my relationships."
"How many guys have you been in a relationship with, Bella?"
"Six."
"Do you want to tell me about them?" he asked, taking another sip of his wine.
"Well, my first boyfriend was in Forks. His name was Tyler Crowley. We dated for about six months our senior year, and he broke up with me a couple of weeks before prom. He was hoping to get lucky, but I wasn't ready, so he dumped me. He said he didn't want to go to college a virgin."
Edward snorted. I quickly took a sip of my wine before continuing. "In college, I briefly dated a guy named Marcus my freshman year. Marcus was a frat boy and cheated on me one drunken night. We had been dating about three months. Then there was Mike, who was a summer fling; we broke up once fall came around.”
I paused to look into Edward’s eyes. I wanted to know what he was thinking; he was so quiet sitting next to me. He smiled, encouraging me to continue
“Shortly after Mike, I started hanging out with Jacob's friend, Quil. We dated for a year; he was my first real boyfriend, where feelings were involved. He was great...funny, smart, cute; he was a real charmer. I lost my virginity to him. Quil's downfall was his age. He was a year younger than me and had a lot of growing up to do. Plus, we realized we were both better off as friends."
"Did you love any of those guys?" he inquired.
"I thought that I loved Quil, but it was really in more of a brother-sister kind of way," I shrugged.
"What about the other two guys?" he asked, urging me to continue.
"Paul was gorgeous and a real charmer. We hung out as friends for about three months before we actually started dating, and that happened by accident. We got drunk one night and ended up sleeping together. I freaked, I had only been with one other guy and he was my boyfriend at the time. I had never done the whole one night stand thing. But Paul surprised me and asked me out to dinner. We dated for about eight months."
"What happened? It sounds like you really hit it off."
"Jacob's sister, Rachel. Paul said it was love at first sight. How could I mess with that?" I shrugged.
"And the last one?"
I shivered just thinking about James.
"Are you okay, Bella?" he asked concerned.
"I'm fine, it’s just really hard for me to talk about," I said, with a weak smile. "James swept me off my feet. We met at this club Alice dragged me to when I was in grad school. He turned out to be a TA for one of my psych classes that I’d picked up for fun, and he started courting me. He had new pledges from his frat deliver flowers to my door. A rose was always left waiting in the seat that I sat in every class. Everytime I ordered at the cafe, it was already paid for. I'd never been wooed before and it felt nice. After a month, he finally asked me out. He wined and dined me." I shook my head at how stupid and naive I had been.
"Our first date was at the Space Needle. He was the most romantic man that I had ever met. He knew all the right things to say at the right moments, but it ended up being all an act." I hesitated as my eyes prickled with tears. "Three months into the relationship, he changed. He started to get really possessive. I hung out with Jake and his friends a lot, but James didn't like that. He beat up Quil for hugging me one day.” I bit my bottom lip, as I felt the tears trickle down my face. “That night was also the first time that he hit me, gave me a black eye."
Edward's jaw clenched, and I could see his eyes burn with anger. "He apologized and I was stupid to accept it, but I didn't know about Quil yet. I found out about a week later and confronted him. We got into this big screaming match at my place. He hit me a couple of times before throwing me into a wall,” I sniffled and wiped a tear away. “After he left, I called Jake to take me to the hospital. I had some cuts and bruises and my shoulder was dislocated. Quil and I pressed charges and he went to jail."
"Bella," he breathed before pulling me into his chest. "I can't believe you endured all that. Now I'm really sorry about sneaking up on you last week. My gosh, baby, I want to kill that guy for hurting you!"
I nuzzled my face in the crook of his neck, placing light kisses on his skin as he held me as close as he could. It was sort of a relief to get that off my shoulders. I'd never told that story to anyone outside my little circle of friends.
"You are so strong, Bella...stronger than I ever imagined. Here I thought you were this fragile woman who needed protecting."
"I still need protecting, Edward, just not a bodyguard," I said into his neck.
He pulled back and pressed his lips to mine. It was brief, but I could feel the emotions behind it.
"So, nothing serious since that?"
"Nope." I shook my head. "I mean, I've been on dates, but nothing that lasted past two or three of them. I’ve just never felt comfortable with anyone, but then you came into my life. You make me feel safe, Edward....I can trust you," I said, placing my hand on the back of his neck, letting my fingers tangle in his hair.
"Well, good-because I feel protective of you." He leaned forward and kissed my lips again. "Not in a possessive kind of way, like I'd beat up Jake for being your best friend or anything."
"That's good to know," I laughed.
"How can you laugh about it?"
"I don't know." I shrugged. "My mind works in mysterious ways."
The waiter arrived then with our food. I was glad, because it gave us both a chance to digest everything that we’d just discussed.
Once we finished, we moved onto Edward's past.
"Are you ready to hear mine?" he asked, cocking a brow.
I looked at him skeptically, then smiled.
"Bring it on, Doctor." I grasped his hand, giving it a little squeeze.
"Let's see... I've always been handsome and charming, so I had girlfriends in middle school." He smirked. "Nothing serious... you know, the whole ‘date for a couple weeks, then break up because you like someone new’ sort of thing?" I nodded my understanding. "In high school, I took it easy my first two years; I focused on my studies, piano and soccer. My sophomore year, I dated a couple of girls here and there. The summer before junior year I met this girl, Kate. Her family had just moved to Seattle from Alaska. We hit it off and started dating. We dated our entire junior and senior years of high school. We broke up because she was going to school in Florida and I was going to Chicago. We were young and in love, but we knew the long distance thing would never work."
"Were you in love with her or was it just puppy love?" I asked. I had never been in love and I wanted to know how many times he’d had those strong feelings for someone.
"I've only been in love with one person... and that was Tanya. We met sophomore year of college. I had a typical freshman year: go to parties, get drunk, hook up with random girls. My partying ways changed when I met her." He smiled. "I bumped into her, literally; I spilled coffee all over her University of Chicago sweatshirt. I felt really bad and offered to buy her a new one. It was the least I could do, she couldn't go the rest of the day without a jacket. We went to the student store where she picked out a new one; I paid for it, then asked if she wanted another coffee. We got to talking while we waited in line and turned out we had mutual friends. I asked her out to dinner and a movie. I couldn't remember the last time I‘d done that. I felt like such a teenager again," he chuckled.
I laughed too, remembering the way he acted when he finally asked me out.
"When did you realize that she was the one?" I asked, taking another sip.
"We had been dating for eight months and summer was coming up. She was leaving to take classes abroad. We were discussing our options in her dorm room and she had given me a way out, told me we could take a break while she was away, but I didn't want to be with anybody else." He smiled.
I could tell he was picturing that moment in his mind as he re-told the story, because his beautiful, green eyes were sparkling.
"I pulled her close to me and told her I loved her... that she was the only woman for me. It was the first time I said those words to a woman and truly meant them."
I could see the tears start to form in his eyes. He lifted his hand to the bridge of his nose.. he was trying to rein in his emotions. He continued after a few minutes.
"I proposed to her on our three year anniversary. We had a long engagement; she wanted to wait until we were both finished with school: grad school for her, med school for me. I didn't want to wait another year, so I talked her into setting the date for a week after her graduation. Our first year together was rough, with school and work interfering and then Tanya getting pregnant, but we made it through. Lexi brought us closer together, and made us both slow down. Some of my fondest memories are from that year- just the three of us. It was amazing," he paused again before saying, "You already know how that happiness came crashing down."
I sat there silently staring into his eyes. He reached over with his free hand and wiped the tears, that I didn't know had fallen, from my cheek.
"I didn't mean to make you cry with that story," he smiled weakly then placed a kiss on my forehead.
He didn't sit back, he kept his face close to mine.
"You've lost so much, Edward. I don't know how you're sitting with me right now, showing me affection, comforting me. I should be the one comforting you," I said placing my hand on the side of his face.
"You are, Bella. For the past two years, I've been a mere shadow of my former self. It wasn't until I met you that I started to feel like me again. It's like... life means something again."
I let out a laughing sob as more tears fell down my face.
There he went with those words again. Those sweet, romantic, perfect words.
I leaned forward and kissed him, kissed him hard, throwing all my emotions into it. I wanted to show him how much he meant to me. How he made me feel just being around him, with butterflies in my stomach from all the nerves and anticipation. How my heart sped up whenever I sawhim, or how my skin felt like it wason fire whenever he touched me. How my knees went weak whenever he smiled, and how completely safe I felt in his arms. We pulled apart at the same time, both trying to catch our breaths.
"Wow, maybe I should tell you that story more often," he said with that crooked smile, scratching the back of his head.
And if my cheeks weren't already red from the wine, I knew for sure they would be from that comment. I smiled sheepishly.
We wrapped up dinner and headed back outside to walk around for another hour.
"We should bring Alexis the next time we come here," I mentioned as I got in the car.
"She's been asking about you. She wants you to come over again," he said, getting in on his side.
"We should do something, the three of us."
"How about you come over for dinner, Friday night? We can have a cooking date."
"That sounds like a plan."
We pulled up to my apartment. He shut off the car and turned towards me.
Hmm... this is new. Normally he shuts off the car and gets right out to open my car door.
"Bella, I want to thank you for sharing your past with me tonight. I know it wasn't easy for you to talk about James. Thank you for letting me in."
He leaned across the center console and I met him halfway. He kissed my forehead, my eyes, my cheeks, my nose, my chin and lastly, my lips. Our lips moved slowly and gently together. I'd said it before and I'd say it again, there was nothing better than kissing this man. He pulled me closer to him, I was almost sitting in his lap. I could feel the emergency break digging into my side, but I didn't care. He slipped in his tongue; he tasted like wine and shrimp scampi. I gave Edward total control and just melted into him. His left hand nestled in my hair, his right stayed on my back keeping me close to him. I pulled away first, in desperate need of air. We rested our foreheads on each others and I nuzzled my nose with his.
"I'm not ready to let you go," he whispered.
"I feel the same, but you really should get back to Lexi."
"I was wondering how long it was going to take you to start calling her that," he smirked.
"What can I say, it grew on me," I said, biting my bottom lip.
He lifted his thumb up to my lip and pulled it out from between my teeth. He nudged his face forward, gently kissing my swollen lips.
"Let's get you inside, beautiful."
He kissed me one more time before getting out of the car, and I had to do my best to steady my breathing as I waited for him to open my door. We walked up the stairs, his hand on the small of my back, and I shivered at this simple gesture.
"Are you cold?" he asked concerned.
"No, I'm not cold." I shook my head with a smile.
"Thank you for today, Edward. I had so much fun walking around, holding your hand and...The Pink Door," I laughed, "That was an adventure in and of itself. We'll have to go back and enjoy it on a lighter note," I said, slinking my arms around his neck.
"That will have to be a separate date from the one we take with Lexi," he added, pulling me closer to him. "I'll see you in the morning. Do you want to meet up for lunch?"
"Hmm... let me think about that for a second." I pretended to ponder the question before nodding my head.
"You are an evil tease, you know?"
"That's what you like about me, Doctor, I keep you on your toes." I smiled.
"That you do." He nuzzled into my neck, peppering kisses along the same spot. I moaned at the feeling.
"You really should go, Edward, otherwise you're going to be exploring my bedroom."
He let out a gush of hot air on my now damp neck, and I moaned again as my knees went weak. He chuckled at my reaction, holding me even tighter. He lifted his head up and placed a quick kiss on my lips, then whispered softly in my ear.
"'Bye, Beautiful. Sweet dreams."
"Good night, Edward. I'll see you tomorrow."
He placed me back on my feet and unwrapped his arms. This time, he waited for me to unlock my door and get inside before leaving. I gave him small wave and little smile before shutting the door.
The moment I locked it, I called Alice and told her everything that had happened, just like I’d promised.
"Alice, I realized tonight that I could fall in love with Edward. He could very well be the man I marry someday.”
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